Breaking Ben
Yeah since this is a Breaking Bad episode it's probably vulgar and stuff so yeah no kiddies. Breaking Ben is an episode of BTSF. Since we now have a profanity law this episode is gonna get fked up Summary Ben discovers Kevin has been working as an undercover meme cook. They discover Petrosapien's amazing meme quality and starting cooking memes to support their families. Plot Ben is on the sofa as usual. Suddenly, he looks upwards. (Ben): is that a profanitay template Oh yes it is Ben. You can now curse. Be careful because this stuff will get you messed up! (Ben): hell damn crap poopyhead heheh ehehhe (Ben): ok time to check on kevine levine. he must be playing cod or somemeing Ben went to the RV, and saw smoke coming out of it. (Ben): KEVIN BLAZED DA KUSH TOO HARD (transform) JURY RIGG-err i mean Duty! Jury Duty! Jury Duty slammed on the door with his suitcase. (Kevin): BEN WTF (Jury Duty): I am here to inform you that marijuana is illegal and since Bellwood isn't in Colorado or Washington you can't blaze it here (Kevin): oh crap people can see this, quick come in Ben Jury Duty entered the RV, and saw a meme lab. (Jury Duty): meme is illegal in all of the US, you could go to jail for this! I can't ruin my lawyer's reputation with this nonsense! (Kevin): Well, it's time I tell you Ben. I have ass cancer. (Jury Duty): Did you do somemeing kinky again? Better safe than sorry. That's my motto. (Kevin): I was addicted to Runescape okay? I don't know why, but it's returned go its 2005 glory again and I'm trimming armor like crazy. My doctor said I'll die in about five seasons from my automated gun contraption while spending my minutes with my memeampamspamtine. I need to leave Gwen and you guys somemeing before I go. (Jury Duty): If you're committed enough, you can make any story work. I once told a woman I was Kevin Costner, and it worked because I believed it. (Kevin): Well, now that you know, you should either keep this a secret or I'll have to kill you. (Jury Duty): Ya know what kid? I'm with you. Let's make memeahtapmapmtine Kevin. (detransforms) ayy lmao THEME SONG Kevin fixed the RV, and started driving towards the desert. (Kevin): Okay Ben, meme is a serious business. Stuff can really get dangerous for us and the family. Remember why we're doing this. (Ben): idk i just want some dank kush They stopped in some place in the desert. Kevin put on his meme suit and taught Ben how to cook. They started cooking their first batch. (Ben): lets examine the properties of the meme using (transform) XLR8? k They did the meme. XLR8 starting speeding everywhere. (XLR8): leleleleleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeele They ended the day with their first batch, and Kevin rode to the parking lot thing. Kevin found the Vreedle Brothers and gave them the meme. They drove home. (Gwen): Guys why are you stinking of meme? (Ben): What the fudge did you just fudging say about me, you little beach? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fudge out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my very aggressive words. You think you can get away with saying those not nice words to me over the Internet? Think again, person. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re probably dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable butt off the face of the continent, you little not nice person. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your not nice words spewing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re probably dead, kiddo. Gwen felt the fury of 7,000 snipers and was flung into the wall, never to speak of the incident again. (Ben): we're in the business kev The next day, they drove out to the desert again. They started cooking, as they heard a knock on the door. Ben opened it. (Ben): wat The Vreedle Brothers broke in. (Rhomboid): That was a bad batch, Kevine! (Octagon): pretty crap tbh imo (Kevin): Ben, did you pour the Dihydrogen monoxide into the memeamfetamine bottle? (Ben): no (Kevin): Crap. (Octagon): Bad batch, Kevine! Next batch better be good or you're out! (Ben): o rly (transforms into Diamondhead) no way Diamondhead shot a diamond at Octagon and he dropped to the floor. Rhomboid pulled out a gun and shot Kevin, who absorbed the meme, only to get broken. (Rhomboid): You ain't gettin' away with this, Levin! (Diamondhead): GET OUT KEVIN Diamondhead slammed a barrel of methane on the ground and broke out of the RV, breaking a hole in it. The methane exploded. Octagon pulled out a gun and tried to shoot Diamondhead, but Diamondhead shot a diamond at him and silenced him. Diamondhead and Kevin got off the ground. (Kevin): WHAT THE HELL BEN (Diamondhead): THEY WERE GOING TO KILL US OR SOMETHING (Kevin): NO THEY WEREN'T YOU IDIOT (Diamondhead): oops (Kevin): Now what do we do with the bodies? (Diamondhead): I have an idea. LATER Kevin and Ben are dragging body bags up the stairs in Ben's house. Rook saw them. (Rook): What is going on here? (Ben): Here's the thing. You said a "jackdaw is a crow". Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a scientist who studies crows, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls jackdaws crows. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "crow family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Corvidae, which includes things from nutcrackers to blue jays to ravens. So your reasoning for calling a jackdaw a crow is because random people "call the black ones crows?" Let's get grackles and blackbirds in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A jackdaw is a jackdaw and a member of the crow family. But that's not what you said. You said a jackdaw is a crow, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the crow family crows, which means you'd call blue jays, ravens, and other birds crows, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know? Rook felt the force of 8,000 atheist jackdaws as he was flung into the wall, never to speak of the incident again. (Kevin): Okay, so now we melt the Vreedle's bodies? Aren't we supposed to buy some polyethanline thing so it won't melt through the house? (Ben): nope (transform) SPITTER They put the body bag in the tub, and Spitter blasted acid at them, melting the bodies and causing the bathtub to crash to the ground. (Ben): o fuq The second Vreedle woke up and started strangling in his body bag. (Rhomboid): GODDAMMIT YOU BETTER GET ME OUT OF HERE (Kevin): Crap. Ben, you'll have to kill him to silence the evidence. (Spitter): You do it. (Kevin): Let's flip a coin. They flipped it. (Spitter): aw crap Spitter detransformed and took the body bag to the basement, where he saw Eggy chillin. (Eggy): Bagawk? (Ben): Just to be clear, I'm not a professional "quote maker". I'm just an atheist teenager who greatly values his intelligence and scientific fact over any silly fiction book written 3,500 years ago. That being said, I am open to any and all criticism. "In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god's blessing. But because, I am englightened by my intelligence." - bTennyson1997 Eh? Eggy felt the force of 2,081,064 godless neckbeards as he was flung through the basement window, never to squawk about the incident again. Ben tied Rhomboid to the pole. (Rhomboid): Why you little brat, I better slap some sense into you. (Ben): Well time to silence you. (transforms into Qqqqq) Qshhhh, quiet quow... Qqqqq removed sound from the place. (Rhomboid): (Qqqqq): ? (Rhomboid): Qqqqq closed the door. (Qqqqq): Qell qhat qent qwell. (Rhomboid): !! to be continued Aliens Used * Jury Duty * XLR8 * Diamondhead * Spitter * Qqqqq Characters * Ben * Kevin * Gwen * Rook Villains * The Vreedle Brothers * Argit